Saturday, February 28, 2009

Lessons to Be Learned

This has been a week full of hard lessons and part of me is tired of being a perpetual student. Well at least these lessons mean that God is taking the time to challenge and grow me deeper in my relationship with Him. Allow me to share a few of the lessons I've been learning this week.

Lesson #1- The church is not perfect and neither am I. I need to be willing to let the grace of Christ into every area of my life, especially in the area of relationships. Humility must become my lifelong companion.

This week has been heavy and filled with a lot of drama and stress. I think I even told Jon that I wanted us to move to Fiji and live as hermits for the rest of our lives. Seeing that Jon loves Fiji, he almost agreed. I mean how cool would it be to be a pseudo Fijian?!? Anyway with the week coming to a close I can say that my heart just hurts. Speaking vaguely...people are hard to deal with, myself included. When sin bumps up against sin (especially within the Body of Christ) it is not pretty except if we allow the grace of God to intervene. I guess the one question I feel I should ask myself in dealing with any future circumstances is this: "Was the Lord glorified?" Unfortunately in this particular case my heart was not always glorifying to God so I'm left asking Him to use the experience to humble and teach me and to do so in the lives of those involved. Cryptic comments over... ;-)

Lesson #2- Our God is not small and the dreams and callings He places on our lives are not small either. When he calls, we are compelled to obey. I don't want to settle for anything less. He is the God of the impossible!

When I was not consumed with the drama of the past week the other thoughts taking up space in my head were centered around adoption. Adoption without a doubt is a calling in the life of me and my husband. My heart beats for this child whom I have never met and who probably isn't even born yet. However there were times I was afraid to just come out and say that we will adopt Now, there is no denying that at some point down the road God will open the doors for us to begin that exciting process. The details of said adoption are not anywhere close to being set in stone. Jon and I are burdened for a specific country (those of you who know me well don't have to guess about this one) but due to regulations set by that government adoption looks like it may be a few years down the road. However, that hasn't stopped us from talking and dreaming about what our family may end up looking like. We have discussed how we could incorporate that specific culture into our family and wonder how friends and family would react. One of the things I enjoy talking with Jon about the most is imagining how God will orchestrate this entire process. What miracles will He work? I can't wait and see!

Lesson #3- The best medicine for impatient people is the journey of waiting on the Lord.

Even now with adoption most likely years down the road I'm seeing that it will not be an easy process. My heart already yearns to bring this precious child home. I think about the mounds of paperwork, red tape and the guaranteed obstacles we will encounter on this journey and all I can do is pray. God has already performed a miracle in my own heart, giving me an intense love for a child I have never seen, or felt. I think the next miracle will once again be within increase in my faith and patience. Can I trust God to complete this in his own perfect time? Do I trust that He is good and will provide for all our needs?

"I believe; help my unbelief!"

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