Lately I've been thinking a lot about the next phase of life, specifically parenthood and being a mom. Jon is close to finishing school and with that exciting change on the horizon I know that starting a family is getting closer. We'll have to wait and see how God's timing will orchestrate everything but my heart is starting to ache just a bit.
Often times I find myself praying for the Lord to keep my feet firmly planted in the present because my thoughts and dreams can quickly distract me from the work God has given me to do right now. I have to remind myself that God is using and will continue to use this time to prepare both me and my husband for what lies ahead so rushing it would do us no good. We are not just wading through the routine of school and the rigor of working nights for nothing. We haven't wasted our time...God hasn't wasted our time. God has been shaping, refining and teaching us the past couple of years. It has been so gradual that it's easy to miss at first but as I look back two and half years ago I can say without a doubt that I am in such a stronger and more intimate relationship with my Savior than ever before and the thought of being a parent only spurs me on to love God with more fervor.
Here are some random thoughts about parenthood that have been rolling around in my brain. Allow me to think out loud for a bit.
- A week or so ago Jon and I were talking about being parents and the ideas we have in how we want to raise our children. During our conversation I began to feel overwhelmed thinking, "I have no clue how to do that!" It's true. I have no idea what it takes to be a mom, and how my husband and I will raise our kids up in the love of Christ and teach them about the Gospel. It's a daunting task and praise be to God that he will guide us through it! So I guess praying now for godly wisdom wouldn't hurt.
- I wonder what the life of a mother should look like. I know that God has given me other passions and gifts in my life. How does that fit into being a stay at home mom? Where do I get the outlet of serving and using the gifts God has placed in my life? How do I serve and love my husband in a way that is supportive to his ministry and our marriage. It seems like quite a balancing act. I need the grace of God to guide me when the time comes.
- As we think about our future family, Jon and I continue to talk often about adoption. We feel that God has compelled us to pursue this opportunity and I honestly can't wait. There was a time in my life (not that long ago) that I wondered how and why people felt compelled to adopt. How do you know? I understand now that you just know. The only way I can think to explain that calling is to say that our family would be incomplete without bringing an adopted child into our home.
Well I think that is all for now. I should probably close this chapter just for now because it's easy to get ahead of myself. God is so good and I can only imagine what he has in store for us down the road.