Monday, April 27, 2009

A Stirring

Antonio Corrandini- Bust of a Veiled Woman (Puritas)

"But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is Spirit."
- II Corinthians 3:16-18

New and exciting things are happening. This new work has nothing to do with my physical surroundings and circumstances, it has to do with my heart. God is once again putting a burden in my heart for those who do not know Christ. To be honest that is what my life use to look like and it saddens me to know that many of my current friends haven't seen that part of me. Evangelism was my passion and I would actively look for opportunities to talk about Christ. However, during my sophomore year of college all of that changed. I had moved to a new state, and started a new school. Despite the fact that I had grown up moving all the time, this time was different. I felt utterly alone and struggled with a variety of issues that year which left me completely focused on myself. I had lost my first love and I had forgotten a calling the Lord had placed on my life...a call to go, and tell.

Despite how lost I felt, God was still doing a work in my heart. He had directed me to study missions in college (which funny enough is all about evangelism). I graduated college with a degree in Christian ministries emphasizing missions. After school I worked at Starbucks (sure it's no Papua New Guinea) but during my time there I was given opportunities to talk with my co-workers about Christ. Once I moved to Louisville I began working at this home for girls and saw the Lord open up a door for me to lead a Bible study with some of the kids. During all of this I felt like something was stirring yet my passion was not there. It was not like things had been in high school (more stories about that some day...maybe). It truly felt like part of me was asleep.

However, since December the embers have been stoked again and this new work has been stirring in my heart. God has been healing old wounds and reminding me of my new life in him! God has worked in my heart removing pride and teaching me how to cultivate humility (which he will continue to do until the day I die). I'm sure there have been a multitude of things that have brought me to this point, which I need write down and explore more but in the end as I watch God's hand working I am utterly amazed. The Gospel has become alive to me, in a way that it never has before. Since the Gospel has rooted itself even deeper into my life I am overwhelmed with the thought of keeping such wonderful freedom and hope to myself.

A few days ago I prayed for the first time in years specifically asking God to bring opportunities for me to share my faith. Lo and behold, I have seen the Lord open up a surprising number of doors to share the Gospel. God has been teaching me more than I can take in. These things I have learned and the opportunities I have been given are so sweet that I can't bear to think of having any less yet they are so daunting that I am struggling to fully trust the Lord's guidance.

So that is the new and exciting work. My heart is stirred to begin more actively sharing my faith. I honestly have no idea what that will end up looking like but these new opportunities are teaching me to always keep my eyes open to what God may have me do. There is much I can write about but right now I just desire prayer that God would continue to do a mighty work and that I would unashamedly share the reason for the hope that I have (I Peter 3:15-16). There is still much fear of man in my heart and a strong sense of inadequacy but thankfully God's grace is sufficient for me and his power is made perfect in weakness!

"The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." - II Corinthians 4:4

O Father, break our hearts!!
If we truly love and care for them, how could we keep silent?

1 comment:

katie kohrs said...

And He prunes only the branches that ALREADY bear fruit.

Rock on girl.