I've been praying over and journaling a lot about some of the questions that have been swirling around in my mind. Here are only a few of those questions. :
- How will the timing of our adoption work out? When in the order of children will we feel lead to pursue this option?
- How can we make our beautiful little girl completely part of the family?
- Do we, or how much do we integrate her culture with the culture of our family?
- How can we make her feel like a special part of our family without making the other children feel less loved or longed for?
- How would I handle rude comments from people about our adopted daughter?
- Should I encourage her to embrace her culture or let her decide that on her on?
- How will family and friends react?
I know I've mentioned this before but more than anything I long for our children (however many that may be) to most importantly come to know the Lord who has adopted us as his sons and daughters. Along with their growing love for God I desire for them to enjoy learning about other cultures and hopefully to instill within them a heart for missions/evangelism.
As I am often tempted to worry about things that are not even issues yet I am reminded that we are not even close to needing any answers. These questions may not even come up for years because most likely when we do pursue adoption our other child/children will be young. All of these questions remind me again and again that the questions are not what my focus needs to be on, I need to learn further what it means to trust the Lord and wait patiently on his perfect timing.
Sorry if this was a bit all over the place but that is what my mind is sifting through right now. I realize that a lot of people who might read this may find me crazy for thinking so much about a child I have never seen or held but I can't explain it. There are no words to show how exciting it is that God has placed this passion on the heart of me and my husband. Who knows what this journey will look like and when it will begin but I'm sure it will be amazing!!
Just a funny aside: I was thinking of praying that all of our children would look different so that our adopted daughter could see that none of us really looked the same. Jon's family are all red-heads, my dad has blonde hair and my mom is a brunette. So we could have kids that are blonde, brunette, red-headed and...black ;-) How great would that be?!?