Waiting

Pentecost- El Greco

I'm in a season of life right now where I'm waiting. My husband is in school working towards his masters degree and we are just plodding along looking forward to being done and in full time ministry. Currently it seems like that day will never arrive. I'm also feeling this way in my job. I've been working nights for over two years now and I'm tired...I'm perpetually tired. Lately I've been praying for the Lord to show me if it is time to move on and I've heard no distinct answer from Him so...I'm waiting.

I think all this waiting is making my spiritual life seem dry as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm learning so much as I spend time in the Word but I'm anxious for something new and exciting. I think this anxiety could make me miss out on what the Lord desires for me to learn right now.

I'm reading a book called "Fresh Power," by Jim Cymbala (If you haven't read any of his books I would highly recommend them.) Anyway, this specific chapter I'm reading has been focusing on the Pentecost. As I read I was struck not just by the power of God displayed in his followers but even more so by what took place before the Holy Spirit descended. The disciples along with other believers were holed up in a room praying for days on end. "They all gathered together constantly in prayer..." As I read this I was convicted. I am certainly not in a place where I can say I am a woman of prayer. God has brought this conviction to my heart recently and it's beginning something new in me. We'll see where the Lord takes it.

I think the power of God working in our lives and our effectiveness in ministry are closely linked to the depth of our relationship with Christ. I'm so hungry for more of God and I'm desperate for less of myself. Those around me certainly don't need to see more of me. The girls I minister to, who have suffered horrendous abuse, do not need me. They need Christ, who is the ultimate physician. The church does not need more eloquent preachers, or modern songs. They need more of God. So while I'm waiting...I'll continue to pray: Father, less of me and more of You!